Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
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