I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Randomize
