I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
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