we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
