I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
