I'm so fucking centered right now
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
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My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
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I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
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