i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize