So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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