I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Randomize
