I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
