he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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