man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
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