i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
