one word: firstdatebathroomanal
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Walk of Shame today included voting.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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