im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
