By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
