We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
