Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Randomize
