Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
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