I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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