Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
