My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
why do cheetos always look like penises
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
