that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Randomize