Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize
