so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Randomize
