Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
