Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Randomize
