dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
I know her cup size but not her name....
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