A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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