last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize