Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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