hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
