Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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