Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
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