while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
