I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
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