where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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