Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
