is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
Is it penis luge time yet?
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
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