i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
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