I seem to have left my pride at pride
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
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getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
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I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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