He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Randomize
