yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Randomize
