Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
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