I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
