i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
