Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
