I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
