That's intense
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
