at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
