just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Randomize
