Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
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