i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
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