You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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