Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
