i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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