Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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