Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
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