Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Randomize
