I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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