I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
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